Paparazzi

Unlike so many Americans, I’ve never had any desire to be a celebrity.  Living your life in the public eye, unflattering photos on magazine covers, and of course, the dreaded paparazzi.  I wish I could convince people in China that I am someone of absolutely no importance.  It seems, however, that whenever I go to any type of tourist location, various people are always grabbing my arm and asking in broken English if they can take a photo with me.  Often a photo has already been snapped by the friend standing by even before a response can escape my lips.  I usually oblige anyway, smiling awkwardly, as a total stranger wraps his or her arms around me as if we were best friends.  There have only been a few times that I’ve felt the need to decline.  One such time was recently when I visited a nearby tourist location with some other Americans.   A group of Northwestern College students from Minnesota (recently renamed: The University of Northwestern, St. Paul), visited Nanjing.  We, and several of my students, were out together.  I guess the quadruple effect of having 4 American girls in the same place was just too much to handle because we were honestly being stopped every few steps we took that day.  At one point I think there were 10-15 people taking a picture of us at the same time.  Needless to say, it got to a point where we had to start declining requests.  (I’m still not sure whether the whole experience was more humorous or more irritating.)  In any case, it was really a fun day with the Northwestern students and my Chinese students.   The recent visit from the Minnesota group was a huge blessing.  Pairs of them came into my English classes for two weeks – assisting in leading discussions, sharing about their lives in the U.S., learning about my students’ lives in China, and sharing laughter.  My students enjoyed them so much that they invited them to do things outside of class, such as the event I just mentioned.  Many other sweet times with students have happened since then and are continuing to happen!  China is still a hard place for me to live and to adjust to, but the underlying peace I have about being here and the type of work that I get to be a part of make it so worth it.  
Love from China.

Posing with a stranger.

You know you're in China when...

You know you're in China when... the second phrase on this sign (on the bathroom wall in Starbucks) is necessarily written.

You know you're in China when... you're never really sure whether it's smoggy or foggy.

 

You know you're in China when... outside of the supermarket you find a bike parking lot instead of a car parking lot. :)

You know you're in China when... finding raisins at the supermarket really excites you.

You know you're in China when... going to the grocery store was your workout for the day. (Because you carried your 30 pound grocery bag for 30 minutes and walked up and down numerous flights of stairs.)

You know you're in China when... crossing the street is like a real life version of the game Frogger (a little dangerous and a little exciting every time).

You know you're in China when... drinking hot water becomes your norm.

Total day-maker right here...

I have the best best friend in the world.  Love you so much Meghan McCarthy/Grout.  Thank you so much for this package that was ridiculously expensive to send.
And special thanks to Gabe Grout as well who was instrumental in the making of this happen. :) Love you guys.

Thoughts in October

Had I riches, I would bring them, had I kingdoms, I would lose them, had I the world, too small a gift would it be for you.

I admit that my initial reaction upon hearing this song a couple of years ago was annoyance.  When this part came up, I often thought, “But I don’t have riches.  I don’t have kingdoms. How can I possibly know how I would react in those situations – if I would become corrupt by wealth and power, or if I would be willing give them up to the Father?”  But over time, this has become one of my favorite songs, and in fact this is the part of the song I sing with the most joy.  What I began to realize over time was that it didn’t matter whether I was wealthy or powerful because that wasn’t the point.   The point was whether or not I was submitting my riches and my kingdoms to Him.  I realized that the song was about surrender.  I realized the song was about pursuing my ultimate joy, not my earthly joy.  In Philippians 3:7-11, Paul says:

But whatever was to my profit, I now consider loss for the sake of [The Son].  What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing [Him], for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain [The Son] and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in [The Son]—the righteousness that comes from [The Father] on the basis of faith.  I want to know [The Son] —yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Part of the difficulty of moving to a totally foreign country is a type of identity crisis.  The question you begin to have to deal with is: Who am I when so many of the things that I thought defined me are stripped away?  I can no longer be defined by my position in family, friends, work, fellowship, or anything else.  I am an outsider, a foreigner, an unknown. So it was in reflecting on these thoughts that the question came to me – what if the Son hadn’t left His Father? What if He had stayed where things were normal for Him – where He was glorified, powerful over all of the universe, and in perfect unity with the Father?  For some reason, He decided to do the most selfless thing the world had ever seen and separate Himself from that reality and come to a place that was disgusting by comparison.  To come to a place where no one knew Him, where He had no reputation, where no one really cared the way they did at home.  I bet he felt disoriented at times.  I bet He dreamed sometimes of home. The most selfless thing the world had ever seen was just Him coming here.  But that wasn’t all.  He followed it up with a life that was poured out in love for people.  He served them, taught them, forgave them, healed them, and showed them compassion to the point of exhaustion over and over.  And then He gave it all.  He paid it all.  He took it all upon himself.  He did this so that we could know Him.  So let us not take it for granted.  His sacrifices for us are so obscenely beyond comprehension.  So what I’m learning lately is this: Know Him.  Love Him.  Give your life in reckless abandon for Him.  Don’t hold back, move forward.  Don’t hold on, let go.  It’s going to be painful, but it’s going to be good.

What's in a name?

This week I had the privilege of meeting my Chinese students.  I found it to be a delightful experience.  They are sweet, helpful, excited to learn, and enthusiastic to get to know me as their teacher.   I also had the enlightening experience of learning their names.  Many of them have long-since chosen English names for themselves in prior years of their English studies.  They identify strongly with these names as it is what they have called themselves in English classes for quite some time.  Some of them choose an English name that sounds similar to their Chinese name, some just choose one they like, others think about meaning and significance, and still others may not choose a name at all – rather just an English word that they like.   I admit that I had to suppress laughter several times this week after being introduced to students named: “In” (not short for anything, just “in”), “Season” (not Summer or Autumn, just “Season”), “Ant” (yes, the animal), “Ritchie”, “Bebo”, “Celery”, “Yoga”, and the list goes on.   I’d like to take a moment here to at least impose some of the blame onto American celebrities because of their absurd child name choices – I mean, seriously, Gwyneth Paltrow, you named your daughter Apple?  Gwyneth, an apple is a food, not a name.  I mean, really, if Apple can be a name, then why not any other food – Mustard? Bacon? Raisin? Ground Beef?  Because it’s ridiculous, that’s why.  And so, it’s your fault, Gwyneth, that my student had the logical train of thought to assume that “Celery” was a valid name choice.  And Kim Kardashian – naming your child “North West”?  Really?  North West is a direction, not a name.  And so, it is your fault that my student thinks that the preposition “in” is also a name.   I could go on blaming various celebrities for their tacky child name choices, but there are some names I learned this week of my Chinese students that simply can’t be blamed on anyone: “Echo”, “Chaos”, “Grug”, and my personal favorite – “Erosion.”  That’s right folks, one of my students named herself after the environmental problem through which soil and rock are worn away from the earth’s surface.

Although I think some of the name choices I heard this week are very silly, I am still convinced that I, as a foreigner, do significantly sillier things on a daily basis.  As a result of that, I’m amazed and grateful that we are able to not only extend compassion to each other, but that we can actually build relationships as well.  I guess it’s diversity that makes us interesting, and grace is that makes us friends.  :)

Look around and you'll see reasons to smile :)

Powers for an easy life can be bought! And for less than $1 US dollar. Need I even say DEAL?!
(And all this time I really thought Super Man was super. Sad.)

Grape crackers? Talk about communion made easy!

Who could resist a Purple Potato Sandwich Cookie?

My cashews come with Zen. Bonus!

Mixed up Messages

When you burn yourself, do it carefully, please.
 

Sometimes that apostrophe "s" can make all the difference...
Though I'm willing to try a lot of foods, cannibalism is just taking it too far!! ;)

Arrival in Nanjing

I went to the grocery store to get an apple.  All I wanted was an apple.  I was successful in finding the produce section, selecting the apple I wanted, standing in line and arriving at the cashier.  But I was unsuccessful in the most important step: purchasing the apple.  Totally unable to comprehend what the cashier was trying to tell me, I decided that maybe she wanted the “Fuji” sticker to know which brand to ring up.  I returned to the produce section and pealed a Fuji sticker off one of the other apples.  Surely this is what she wanted.  No.  I was met with failure and frustration and had to leave the apple at the store as a result of my inability to communicate.  What I know now, but didn’t know at the time, was that in China you have to have your produce weighed by a grocery store worker and receive a sticker with the bar code and price before bringing it up to the register.  Such a simple act as buying an apple became impossible for me.  And in fact, I could recount many more such stories from my daily life here.

My team here in Nanjing has been incredibly welcoming, helpful, and generous to me as the new teammate.  My apartment is the most wonderful little place that I have affectionately named “The Bird’s Nest”, as it sits on the top level of the building and my windows look out into the tops of the trees. (I realized I could also call it “The Penthouse”, but felt that the first title was more appropriate. :))  One of my teammates donated a bike to me – which has been fantastic!  Another teammate gave me his old iPhone 3 to use.  One day, two of my teammates went with me to IKEA to purchase a bunch things for my apartment – which now looks great (if I do say so myself)!  Team members have also already invested meaningful time with me in which we’ve begun to build the basis of strong relationships.  The things I’ve listed here are really just the beginning of their generosity to me.  I could go on, but I’ll just say that I am so thankful.  It’s safe to say that I would barely be functioning at all here if it weren’t for them.  Today I was feeling incompetent in another such situation as the one recounted above, and I was just wondering how in the world the Father was going to use me here in China – a person with the functionality of a five-year-old and the language abilities of a one-year-old.   I thought, “How can I serve anyone else when I can barely take care of myself?”  That was when I listened to this message from John Piper (I did my best to write down what was spoken):

When you just want to throw in the towel, remember – you are helpless.  And you’re appointed to make it happen. It’s a wonderful position to be in. You can’t make it happen and it will only happen through you.  [The Father] doesn’t move around [zapping people with the Truth], He won’t just go over there while you ask: ‘Oh [Father] save my neighbor, save my neighbor.’  Go!!  Because there’s this amazing, thrilling, miracle of supernatural illumination; [The Son] is saying to Paul, ‘I send you to open their eyes.  And only I can open their eyes.  So be the agent of My power.’  We have this treasure in jars of clay in order that the surpassing power might belong to Him!  We’re all clay pots. Our words are never adequate.  You never come away from a [sharing] situation saying, ‘Whoa, I really did it good.’ Never.  You will always be a broken clay pot and there’s design in that. [The Father] wants the glory.  And He’s going to get it… for His power.

This message couldn’t have come at a better time, and it couldn’t have been more planned.  He knows exactly what we need, exactly when we need it, and often doesn’t give it to us until that precise moment.  What a journey of trust our lives are.  What a powerful One we serve.

My new wheels!

 

      One of my teammates donated this sweet bike to me! It's been fantastic to be able to whiz around campus and the neighborhood on this thing. 

      I've also discovered that while biking it is common to sing to oneself.  I haven't taken up the practice yet, but like the idea. :)

Delicious Dining

         Last week I had the privilege of being invited for dinner by a Chinese family at a large restaurant in Beijing that they manage.   I was allowed to tag along to this dinner because I am acquainted with someone who is close friends with them (and because of a couple of other reasons that are too laborious to explain in this blog post).  We ate in a private room of the restaurant and were served some of the most delicious food I have yet tasted.  The reputation of Chinese hosting was met in this family as the dishes just kept coming out.  Since every bite seemed to be more delightful than the last, I ate my fill. Near the end of the meal as I was slowing down, my Chinese host said something to me and asked my friend to translate.  Much to my mortification, she did as he asked, saying, “He notices that you have eaten much.”  I flushed red, feeling like a fat pig.  As we got in the car to go home after the dinner, I told my friend how embarrassed I was that I had evidently eaten too much.  I was relieved when she explained, “No, to the contrary, you honored him by eating his food and enjoying it.  You gave him face by doing that.”  So again, I will stick with my mantra that I have much to learn.  In my short time here, I have learned that China is a society that highly values the idea of saving face.  Protecting someone else’s reputation and giving them public honor is so important in this society that it can trump doing the logical thing or even the “right” thing.  As Americans, this concept is so difficult to wrap our minds around.  In our Asian Culture and Communication class we are learning so much about the fundamentally different mindsets of Eastern and Western cultures.  In Spanish, the word for foreigner is directly translated as “alien”, which I think is pretty appropriate for how I feel here.   I may be from a different world, but I am intrigued by this culture and excited to experience all of what life is here with eyes wide open.  

Peking duck - it was delicious! 

 

Just relax and listen to the calming sound of... drilling?

Long before I had arrived in China, I had been told about the inexpensive massages you can get here.  I love massages so much that I had plans to go get one before I even got on the plane.  You can imagine my enthusiasm when I found out that there was a good massage place right across the street from our hotel and that massages cost only six dollars!  Eager to experience this, I dragged my Chinese-speaking roommate across the street with me to set up the deal.  My roommate helped me with the logistics and left.  I was led into a small room with six massage beds and instructed (through actions) to lie down.   No sooner did I put my head on the pillow than began the earsplitting sound of drilling about five feet above my head.  The massage therapist continued her work unfazed, and the drilling continued for about 20 minutes.  I just had to laugh as it seems you never know what to expect in China! 

Ancient Times Meet Neon Signs

Anyone who knows even a little about China is aware that it is a civilization that has spanned thousands of years; a country and a culture with rich history and heritage.  And anyone who has been to China is immediately assaulted by thousands of neon signs lighting up the city of Beijing as bright as Las Vegas on its most illuminated evening.  In preparation for coming here I read in one of our books that everything you’ve been told about China is true, and the opposite is also true.   Though ELIC did a great job preparing us for what life would be like in China, arrival here screams that I’m only at the very beginning of understanding just how little I know, and how very much I have to learn.  One such example of this occurred on my first real day in China.  We (Americans) were divided up into small groups and sent out into the city with student guides to complete a scavenger hunt type of activity.  This was a great opportunity to see the city a bit and interact with a Chinese student right away.  Our guide’s name was Chris, and we genuinely enjoyed spending the day with him.  The time with him was something that sparked my enthusiasm to begin getting to know more Chinese students.  We were assigned a specific area of town to go to, and tasks that we were to complete.  One task was to search for the most interesting flavor of chips we could find, so we went to the supermarket.  We found several unique flavors, but I decided that the “Coca-cola and chicken” flavor was just too intriguing to leave on the shelf, so I bought it.  I got in line to pay for my chips, but because it was only my first day and I had no idea which bills were worth what, I just naively handed the cashier everything I had.  Chris was amusedly watching the whole situation, unable to suppress laughter.  I finished paying and asked him if he was laughing at me, to which he responded: “Heh heh, you have much to learn.”   I’m pretty sure that this will be my mantra for quite some time as each day this statement has proved to be more and more accurate.  Before leaving, various people asked me what I was the most excited about, and besides some of the obvious reasons for why I’m here, I responded that I knew it would be an opportunity to learn so much.  Being in a place where I’m completely out of place offers an opportunity like no other to have my perspectives blown out of the water, to struggle with the conflict that presents, and to begin to reshape my understanding of the world.

Besides taking classes to prepare us for teaching in Asia, we have been using our free time here in Beijing to get out and see some of the sights.  I’ve been able to visit and go up one of the tallest towers in the world, explore a beautiful area that used to be the emperor’s summer home known as the Summer Palace, and visit the Great Wall.  All of these have been pretty incredible experiences and I’m grateful for the opportunity to be able to have some fun and get to know the country where we will be living and working.  One of the most incredible parts of being here, however, has been getting to know the other ELIC teachers.  I’ve been moved by others’ stories of how they were called here, what they left behind, and their reasons for being here.  It’s amazing how strangers from all over the country can come together and find deep solidarity, motivation, and unified vision.  Such a unity can only come from the One who is so much greater than all of us; the One who has the power to break every chain, give hope to the hopeless, and make all things new.

Love this blog post!

 http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/date-a-boy-who-travels/

I'm going to China!

Several years ago, my sister and brother-in-law went to China to serve with English Language Institute/China for 2 months of their summer.  Ever since then, I knew that The Father was calling me to serve with ELIC someday as well.  
 
In the summer of 2000, I went on a trip to Guatemala with a group of believers.  That trip was a seed that continued to grow and flourish in my life – the seed of love for other cultures and languages, a passion for the poor and oppressed, and most importantly, a deep desire to carry out the great commission and preach the good news to the nations. That first trip was truly the beginning of something that would change the trajectory of my life and cause me to go on more overseas trips, serve in Mexico for a summer, study abroad in Costa Rica for a semester, and teach English in Spain for a year.
 
When I came back from Spain, I felt clearly led to pursue my Master’s degree in Education. But ever since I graduated in December of 2011, I have felt a conviction that The Father was leading me to go abroad again.  Since then, it has been on my mind and I have been petitioning to Him about it on a daily basis.  During this time I have been so blessed in all aspects of my life, that walking away from it is not an easy decision.  There is a song that has been resonating so strongly in me as I accept the reality of leaving family and friends behind to pursue what The Father has called me to.  The words are from the hymn A Mighty Fortress is our God:
                    Let goods and kindred go,

                    this mortal life also;

                    the body they may kill;

                    [His] truth abideth still;

                    his kingdom is forever.

As followers of the Great Shepherd, we must understand that our lives no longer belong to us, that we have been purchased, and through that purchasing, redeemed and given fullness of joy and everlasting hope.  Leaving the life that I have is foolishness by the world’s standards, but I must step out in faith and do this now.  In July of 2013, I will begin teaching English/Spanish in China for the next two years; seeking to develop relationships with people in my community, and opportunities to share the reason for the hope that I have.